The Walk of Shame, or “Better”

Often times the ability or desire to wear multiple hats is not a helpful thing. People like to pigeon hole you or put you in an easily categorized little box and they aren’t always happy or accepting when you venture away from their idea of who you are or what you should be doing. I understand why this is but the understanding doesn’t often help. I suppose that when you reach a certain level in your career these things go away but perhaps not. Maybe the pressure only increases. I don’t know, I’m not at that “level” yet. I’m at the level where when I have a meeting with a director or producer about shooting their movie or video or project, I sure as hell better not mention I’m an actor if I want the job. And if I’m in an audition I better think real hard before mentioning to the people casting that I work behind the camera as well or their probably gonna think I might be a pain in the ass. Yes, I understand why but it doesn’t make the prejudices any easier to swallow. Especially when I know in my heart that directing has made me a better actor and acting has made me a better DP and shooting has made me a better editor and editing has made me a better writer and writing has made me a better director and I think you get the point by now.

I’d rather be a jack of all trades than a master of one. But make no mistake, I have a deep respect for devotion and mastery of a singular craft. Artists and artisans who spend a lifetime perfecting their vocation as if they can do nothing else. As if they were chosen by the gods. Indeed you can see their eternal soul reflected in their work. But that’s not me. I’m not a master of anything. I get bored easily. In situations where I have a creative stake I’m a bit of a control freak. Not “out of control”, but enough to where it’s often easier to do much of the work myself. I fully recognize this as a personalty defect. I’m working on it.

So anyways, on to the story at hand. I was hired to shoot several music videos for a young director a couple years ago. When I say young I mean like 10 years younger than me. Over 10 years younger than me actually, if you count the months. But this kid was talented, smart, collaborative, and awesome to work for. I hadn’t known him before he hired me and I had no reason to ever mention that I also worked in front of the camera. Dan is the kind of guy where when he asks you to be involved in something you always want to be. In any capacity. His work is always quality. There is no drama. And it’s always been fun.

So imagine my surprise and delight when he called last year and started asking me if I had ever acted. I can’t rememeber exactly how the conversation started. I think I must have been a little suspicious at first. But scripts were emailed, plans were made, and then I was out of town for most of the rest of the year. I sortof forgot about it, wrote it off as a missed roadstop on the interstate of life. There have been many.

But in December he sent me a new and improved script. I am to play the lead character “Brody”, described on page one as a “Middle aged fatherly type”. I mentioned to Dan that he must have only cast me because I was the oldest person he knew. He only smiled nervously. I was just happy to have the job. The piece is called, “The Walk of Shame” and my character is forced to change his name and start a new life after an embarrassing misunderstanding ruins his career as a city planner. So he goes back to college and try’s desperately to fit in with people half his age. Yes, people in college are now half my age. Yay.

We finished shooting last weekend. I had a blast and have high hopes for the project. It felt good. It’s been a long time since I got to stretch like that on camera. Working so much on the other side has taken me away from the place I started. Acting. Over the last several years my friends have cast me in small rolls here and there and I have cast myself. But I think they and I have a little box I’m put in with a tag on it that says what kind of rolls I can do. So to have Dan come in and put me in his piece, largely unproven and without really having any idea of what I had done before was awesome. Especially since he knew me first as his DP. There is a joy and a freedom in acting. Especially for me, seeing the dozen or so crew people moving around, adjusting lights and equipment. And I didn’t have to worry about any of it. Just trust them and do my job. It felt like such a luxury. I felt very lucky.

You just try and get better, at everything you do. Work, play, relationships. You try and do them better as you go. Try and learn from your mistakes. You try not to judge or put people in boxes. You try not to get jaded. You try and make the right choices and you try real hard not to hurt anyone. You try and live a full life doing what you love to do.

You can be one thing and also be another thing at the same time. It’s nice when people realize that.

- Staley Out